Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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