i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
