I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
