Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
