Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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