After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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