It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
