you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
