Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
