Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize