nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have feelings that need drinking.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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