i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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