i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
