I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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