There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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