like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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