Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
