the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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