did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
