I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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