To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
