I wish I could teleport
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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