you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
