Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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