just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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