Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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