I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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