the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
