Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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