What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
