I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
