We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
