i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
