i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
