I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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