I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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