I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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