Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
