So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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