She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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