no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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