shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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