You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
