all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
