Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
