Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
