Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
