You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
