ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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