On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
