it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so let's talk penis.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
