My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Two words: blizzard sex
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
